Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Twos

Whoever experienced the "Terrible Twos" must have had it easy. Terrible is the understatement of the century. It's more like the "Demon Possessed, Epically Terrible Twos".

Yeah, that sounds about right.

So, I have compiled a list of the Top 10 Signs Your Child May be in the "Terrible Twos":

10. When you enter your child's room first thing in the morning to awake them they say, "No!".

9. When asked by the parent to hand-over an object in the child's possession, he/she first motions as if obeying, then, while giving you the stink-eye, throws said object onto the ground.

8. After asking a second time for said object, the child kicks the object across the floor.

7. When picked up at the end of a long day of school, the child does not want to leave with you and waves and says "Bye-bye" while walking away from you.

6. When the child is angry or upset, he/she attempts to hit AND kick you and any nearby objects.

5. At bedtime the child refuses to say "Nite, nite, mommy/daddy", but will not stop saying "Bye-bye, Elmo".

4. When asked to do, or not do something, the child looks intently at you and with great satisfaction does the exact opposite of what you requested.

3. You feel as if your child dislikes you immensely and you pretty much feel like a failure as a parent.

2. You wonder what you have done wrong in the 2 short years spent raising the child.

And, the #1 sign your child is in the "Terrible Twos"....

1. They are 2 years old!

1 comment:

  1. I have one that just turned 3- put experiences delayed symptoms of two-year-itis. And have one daughter that doesn't turn 2 until February and is already showing signs of this disease. Aren't I lucky she is advanced for her age?