Potty Training Makes Me Cry

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I feel like I've been potty training for a year.  Actually, I think it has really been that long. 

My guy is turning 4yo in a couple of months and I just felt this pressure to have him potty trained by his birthday.  Tired of buying pull-ups and thinking underwear would be the push he needed to do this thing, I went cold turkey...underwear all day, pull-ups only at night.  I bought a bunch of undies and some cheap (only $4 at Old Navy!) elastic waist, easy-on/easy-off shorts and I was good to go!  David knew how to use the toliet, plus he had a little potty that we kept in the family room.  Now it was getting him to use either one.  On his own.  Without us making him to do it. 

We were 2 weeks in.  I was already tired of the laundry, trips to public restrooms (4 times during one movie!), the laundry, the laundry, and the laundry.  Stress level was high.  He had some success with a sticker chart.  We were on chart number two (no pun intended) and seemed to have hit a brick wall. 

On Saturday morning the two if us were watching Sesame Street, sitting on the couch.  I got up to go to the kitchen when I realized we were both sitting in a large wet spot.  Urine.  While I was removing the covers from all the couch cushions, he made a huge puddle on the tile floor just feet from the potty.  When he went to his room to get new underwear he made another puddle in his bedroom.  That's 3 puddles in 8 minutes, all within a few feet of a potty or a toliet.  I sat down on my cover-less couch.  And cried.

Thank God for good friends, and veteran moms.  My bestie called in the midst of the pee-pee chaos and had some wisdom for me.  As an outsider she was able to see what I couldn't.  This situation was stressful for mom and toddler, and there would be no training of any kind if it kept up.  She told me what I guess I knew in the back of my head...that he wasn't ready.  It didn't matter that he would be 4 soon or that other people may think it was weird or wrong for my kid to still be in pull-ups.  I needed to do what was right for my child. i was pushing him to be potty trained and he was pushing right back.

There it was.  I had a couch in disaray and two urine puddles to clean up.  I wiped away my tears of frustration, put that kid in a pull-up and fixed us some lunch.

Now it's on his terms.  He'll do it when he's ready.  I just hope he's ready soon.  I am tired of buying pull-ups!

Thank God for good friends, slipcover couches, and tile floors. 

 

Miscellaneous Levity

My last 2 posts were a bit heavy, so I thought I'd bring some miscellaneous levity to the blog today.  Here it goes.....

First, if you are like me and love hilarity and unadulterated sasrcasm, then you must go directly to this site and laugh your behind off.  Jon Acuff writes the blog (and wrote the book) Stuff Christians Like.   It's like a party for your funny bone.  His post from yesterday had me literally LOL.  Gotta love that.





I hear a lot of "the 3's are worse than the 2's" when moms discuss the ups and downs of raising a toddler.  I'm here to say that in my experience neither is better or worse than the other.  They both have their undelightful characteristics and moments that make any mom-in-her-right-mind completely and totally insane.  Good times.  I'm upto my elbows in the loveliness that comes from a 3 year old.  Here are all things David at the moment....

He loves to count how many buses we see on the road while driving to school each morning.

He is OBSESSED (and I'm not using that word lightly) with mops, brooms, and vaccuums.  I'm considering seeking professional help for him.  Do they have toddler support groups for that sort of thing?  My little dude may be a candidate for that TLC show My Strange Addiction.  Next up will be Intervention.  

He is the only socially conscious 3 year old I know that wears TOMS shoes and points it out to total strangers at the grocery store.

He knows every character on Sesame Street and Barney.

He knows the routes to church, school, and Starbucks.

He loathes getting his nails trimmed, but he loves getting his ears cleaned with q-tips.

He makes demands requests of which vehicle he wants to ride when we go somewhere.

He would rather get a dust pan and brush than a toy. (True story:  he declined every toy at Ikea and chose a cleaning tool as his prize for the shopping trip.)

When he sees something he likes or finds fascinating he says: Oh. My. GOODNESS!

  

I hope that brightens and lightens your day!

Kids Say the Darndest (But Not Truest) Things!

For the past few days my son, an only child, has been talking about his sister.  Does he know something I don't?!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

I caught a bit of the sillies today and decided to do some self-portraits as prescribed by my new bloggy fave, Little Miss Momma.  And since LMM is having a self-portrait linky party, and since I posted to the linky party, and since I now have some self-ports, I thought I'd share the love and silliness. 

Who Needs a Cleaning Lady?

I'm a working mom and I have a cleaning lady.  I know a lot of moms that do it all and clean their own homes.  I'm not a super woman and I'm ok with that.

But, now I 'm re-evaluating what I'm paying a cleaning lady for.  I mean, who needs a cleaning lady when I have this guy....

If it sweeps or mops, he loves it.

What am I wasting my money on toys for?

I think he spent about 30 minutes "sweeping" the house.

  

With Swiffer in hand, he was calling me a 'chicken nugget' while I was snapping the photo.

    

Independence Day

As of late, everyday seems to be Independence Day. However, the only kind of fireworks going off around here are the ones between the mommy and toddler and the battle of wills.

In preparing this blog post I checked out thesaurus.com for some help. Here is what I found:

Main Entry: independent

Part of Speech: adjective

Definition: liberated, free

Synonyms: absolute, autarchic, autarchical, autonomous, freewheeling,
individualistic, nonaligned, nonpartisan, on one's own, self-contained,
self-determining, self-governing, self-reliant, self-ruling, self-sufficient,
self-supporting, separate, separated, sovereign, unaided, unallied, unconnected,
unconstrained, uncontrolled, unregimented

Antonyms: dependent, subordinate, subservient

All of the above describes my 3 year old these days. Here we go, this is the beginning of the independent years. These are some of the things we hear coming from the mouth of Mr. Independent....

I do it myself.

Only David. Not mommy (or Daddy).

My turn.

Go away, Mommy (or Daddy).

Give it to me.

If this is what it's like at 3, I am afraid of what lies ahead. Oh dear!

The Mayor of Sassy Town

David was full of piss and vinegar this evening. A combination of playing hard, a short nap, and still recovering from a cold makes for a cranky and obstinate toddler around 5pm. So after some battle of wills between The Mama and The Toddler, I took the nighttime DVD watching privileges off the table as a consequence.

His response: "No! Come on, gimme a break!"

I'm not kidding. That was his response. I'm still in disbelief.

My Just Desserts

My bestie, Adam, and I used to joke that when either of us had children they would turn out to be intolerably obnoxious, but hilariously funny, little creatures because, well, we are both intolerably obnoxious, but hilariously funny people. We are short-tempered, at times obsessive/compulsive, impatient, critical, and over-the-top sarcastic. Recipe for parent-of-the-year type stuff, certain to raise well-adjusted, tolerant, patient, and mild-mannered off-spring. (Case in point: there's the sarcasm.)

So, I'm nearly 3 years into parenthood, and there have been some funny moments courtesy of my little blue-eyed blond. However, none have rendered me more aware of the monster I have created than this little anecdote:

David was talking to my husband, probably asking for pudding, or something, and, being the in-charge mommy that I am, I of course piped in, probably telling him, no, or something. The kid looked me dead in the face, placed his hand on my arm and said, "No, mommy. I'm talking to Daddy!"

What. The. Heck.

I was just told by a toddler. I've been schooled by a preschooler. I got attitude from an ankle-biter.

Now, my little guy has said this to me several more times since then. My come back now is, "I don't care if you are talking to Jesus, Mary, or Joseph. I. Am. The. Mama!"

I'm sure you are shocked and dismayed, wondering just where does he get that little attitude? Beats me.

An Earful

A typical earful from David:


"Mickey Mouse? We go see Mickey Mouse? On my shirt. David's birthday. Mickey Mouse is coming? No, we go see Mickey Mouse. Daddy's box (pointing to a tool box belonging to Daddy). Trash. Yucky trash (sifting through the kitchen garbage bag). Mickey Mouse on my shirt. We go see Mickey Mouse. What's that? (hears a lond noise) . A choo-choo train! Daddy's truck. I see Daddy's truck. Mommy, where's Daddy? He's shooting with Tag. David's birthday. Mickey Mouse is coming. Goldfish. Mommy, I want goldfish. I want cookies. I want banana. (Opens fridge) Mommy, milk. I want milk. Pudding. I want pudding. Grapes! Mommy, I want grapes. Daddy's box. This is Daddy's box."


This was just a 15-second excerpt from a completely one-sided conversation (more like flow of consciousness) that took place while I washed dishes at the sink and David hung out near me in the kitchen. I never responded, David was talking the entire time, even answering his own questions.

Serenity. Now.

The Funny Things He Does...And Says

He may be small, but his attitude his big. I wonder where he gets it from????

Me: "David, come here."
David: "Hold on. I'm busy."

(Pretending to talk on the phone)
"Uh-huh. Uh-huh. OK. I'll tell Mommy."

(While fishing with Daddy)
Daddy: "David, come here."
David: "Hold on. I'm trying to fish."

And his latest obsession is to play with Ziploc bags. He has a million of them and walks around the house putting things in the bags and taking them out. We buy them specifically for David to play with. The zipper kind are best so he can open and close them on his own, otherwise he is constantly asking us to open and close them for him.

The Funny Things He Does

My almost 3 year old has some hysterical moments. He is growing up so fast and does some very funny things as he learns how to do things and learns new words and phrases. I want to share these moments here and hopefully properly communicate their innate laughter inducement.

David is playing in the family room, wearing only his big boy underpants. He sees his keys (a set of real keys that don't work that he likes to play with), grabs them, and nonchalantly waves to me and says "Bye guys," as he heads for the front door.

He brings his play shovel out of his room and pretends to pick up imaginary piles of dog poop from the family room floor and dumps them in the kitchen. "Yucky poo-poo."

After having a short little coughing bout, David places his hand on his chest and with wide-eyes says, "Oh my goodness."