Since becoming a parent I have been scared. I'm not talking the scary movie or ghost kind of scared. But, you know, the kind of scared when your child is seriously hurt or very ill. I would say that I even began my life as a mom in a state of constant fear. Until David was adopted, I spent 20 months fearful of him being taken away from me. There was also the time he was so sick that he had to be taken to the E.R. David also had a pretty serious fall on his head recently that gave us a fright.
But tonight was a scare like no other. My little guy was running and playing in front of the local frozen yogurt shop in a strip mall. He was doing pretty well keeping on the sidewalk and there were 2 other older kids keeping him away from the street. It only took a split second and he was walking into the parking lot. I shouted at him to stop and he wasn't stopping. A car was coming and I didn't know if they could see his little body behind the parked cars. It was then that I screamed an almost blood curdling scream and jumped out of my seat. I don't even remeber taking any steps. It was as if I flew from my chair to where he was. I gave him a spanking on the spot. I wanted David to know the seriousness of what he did and to know that he needs to listen to Mommy. Then I brought David to the chair and sat him on my lap and just held him tight. I was fighting back the tears. Whew. That. Was. Close.
There are guaranteed to be more nail-biting, scare-me-to-death moments in my parental journey. For now, I'm hoping it will be a while before the next one because I'm not sure my heart can take it.